Have you ever identified with being a pessimist or optimist? How do you respond when someone asks you the age-old question about a half glass? You hear it all the time “Oh, I’m just a pessimist” or “she’s always such an optimist”. Have you ever stopped to think about what these words really mean?
I’m going to come right out and say it: being a pessimist or optimist is a myth.
What I mean by this is being a pessimist or optimist should not be considered a character trait or something that is part of you. This is because you have complete control over how you respond and think about things, no matter your personality.
I’ll admit, I once identified as a pessimist. “I’m just like my mother” I would say, “but my dad is always so positive, he’s an optimist.” But what did this really mean?
When I say I identified as a pessimist it was because I always focused on the negative aspects of things or was constantly worrying about worst-case scenarios. I put it down to it just me being who I was. As I’ve grown though I’ve come to realise that this doesn’t have to be the case. You CAN learn to think positive, see the good in all things and in turn, become a whole lot happier.
As someone who has suffered from serious depression and anxiety it use to drive me CRAZY when someone would say “you have the power to control your own thoughts”. When it comes to mental illness, it definitely doesn’t feel like a choice – not at all. So I won’t say it, but I will say this: you can HEAL, and you can learn how to identify the positives in all situations.
Maybe for some people being positive just isn’t natural to them but I 100% believe it is something you can learn. I’ll admit, I’m still learning myself, and I’m here to share the ways in which I’ve become a more positive person.
1. Show Gratitude
Learn how to show gratitude for everything, and I mean everything. No matter what, there is always something to be grateful for. For example, I could let my diagnosis of SIBO feel like doomsday; it’s a tough condition and no one would blame me if I threw a giant pity party, but instead, I choose to focus on the positives. I show gratitude to my SIBO for teaching me about myself, nutrition and connecting me with new people. Sure, it’s taken a lot away from me but it has also changed my lifestyle in many positive ways so for that I am extremely grateful.
2. Let Go
Let it go, find your flow. When we harbour things and dwell on the negative it can be seriously draining. Learn to forgive yourself, forgive others and let things go. One way I’ve learned to let things go is through meditation. Once you learn how to let go of your own thoughts it’s much easier to also translate that into real-life situations.
3. Only Voice the Positive
Sure we all have bad thoughts, but we don’t have to voice them. By voicing our negativity we are giving it power and putting it out into the world, giving it life. You’ll find that once you complain less or refuse to voice negativity these thoughts will soon disappear entirely.
4. Drop The Judgement
Most of the time our negative thoughts are pestering us because we aren’t giving them the attention they need. Acknowledge your thoughts without judgement, process them and then let them go. Journaling is a great way to do this.
5. Engage in Positive Self Talk
Now this could be a whole other topic to discuss, as this is SO important. If you speak negatively about yourself, of course, you will become a negative person! Ban negative self talk and choose to only say positive things about yourself (this includes your body). In fact, make it your goal to be your own personal cheerleader. Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend and soon you will be your own best friend too!
6. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Who you spend your time with will have a lot of influence on your life, so it’s important you don’t allow toxic people to play a big role in yours. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting friendships. If you have a friend that tends to be negative, instead of them bringing you down to try to encourage them and turn their thought process around.
This also goes for who you follow on social media. I choose to only follow upbeat, positive and inspiring people.
8. Understand Manifestation
Manifestation simply put means that what you put into the world is what you will get out of it. If you are constantly being negative, negativity is what you will receive right back and it may feel things never go your way. If you are positive, encouraging and grateful often you’ll find that good things and blessings come your way. Additionally, what you manifest is also the type of people you will attract into your life. If you want to be around positive people, be positive yourself.
There you have it my 8 Ways of Becoming a More Positive Person. Other things that have helped me become a more positive person is practicing yoga daily, self-love, and reading books by authors like Norman Vincent, Fearne Cotton and Shannon Kaiser.
Keep on shining! x